


Camp Lazlo: You Gotta Be Kitten Me

by DiamondSwordStab2003



Series: Camp Lazlo: Back To Camp [1]
Category: Camp Lazlo!
Genre: Camp Lazlo - Freeform, Clam - Freeform, Cute, Kitten, Lazlo - Freeform, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2018-12-30 07:19:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 13,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12103590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiamondSwordStab2003/pseuds/DiamondSwordStab2003
Summary: Clam finds a box of abandoned kittens in the middle of the night, so he takes them in and serves as their mother. After a huge battle with some pesky eagles, he goes overprotective over them and runs away from camp. Will he change his ways and come back? Or will his life be a catastrophe forever?





	1. New Mommy

It was a dark, cold night at Camp Kidney. Everyone was sleeping peacefully except for Clam, he was outside looking for goblins in the forest. Reason? Because Edward told him that there were goblins in the forest and that they only came out at night. This made him believe that goblins existed and why he was outside at 4 A.M in the first place. He looked every crevice, every rock, every tree, every cave, and the road that surrounded Camp Kidney and led to the nearby town, Prickly Pines. But there were no goblins. That meant they weren't real and Edward was telling a lie. 

 

Clam: I can't find goblins. Clam sad... Clam betrayed.....

 

He was very devastated to find that there weren't any goblins and that Edward was lying to him. This is normal since Edward is known to lie and make people upset. Yes, a 10 year old platypus boy is doing this. What a meanie.   
Anyway, Clam sat on the side of the road and sighed. 

 

Clam: I'm hurt. Edward lied to me. He's a big, fat, liar. 

 

Suddenly, he heard a faint noise that sounded a lot like a kitten. No, make that 6 faint noises. 6 faint noises that sound like a mix between a newborn baby and a squeaky toy. He followed the noise that caught his attention and found a box that read "Free Kittens", with pink, blue, purple, fern green, yellow, and tuxedo (black and white) kittens. The babies look and sound no more than 4-5 weeks old, they also looked like they have taken their first steps already. They had "PPG" styled eyes, but cuter than ever. It is unknown why they were abandoned, the reason maybe that the mother died or just abandoned them. Another reason is maybe a man found them and then decided to sell them for free. It is clearly unknown where the box even came from. These kittens were meowing and crying for food, attention, and love. One of them tried to escape the box so he/she could run away. But that's not the case. When all of them saw Clam, they IMMEDIATELY imprinted on him and tried to jump into his arms. 

 

Clam: Awwwww... They're so cute.... I'm definitely gonna take you guys home. 

 

He picked up the box and carried it all the way back to his cabin, but when he got there, he fell alseep right in front of it, with the kittens climbing out successfully and crawling all over him.

 

3 hours later....

 

The Jellies woke up from their sleep (they were the first ones to wake up), and got dressed in their daily attire. They walked out of the cabin and to their surprise, found a rhino sleeping on the ground with kittens climbing all over him, meowing happily. 

 

Lazlo: Ummm... Why is Clam on the ground with kittens all over him?

 

Raj: I don't know, Lazlo. I don't know.

 

Clam woke up from his sleep and went inside, smiling in an embarrassed way. He got dressed in his daily attire and went back outside. Then he scooped up one of the kittens and showed him/her to them.

 

Clam: I found kittens! They imprinted on me!

 

Raj: Clam, why is that animals ALWAYS imprint on you?

 

Lazlo looked closely at the kitten and immediately fell in love. His eyes turned animesque, his mouth turned into a full-fledged smile, his tail up his back, and clenching his fists. 

 

Lazlo: AWWWWWWWWWWW... THAT IS SO CUTE!!!!!

 

The kitten meowed in response to his excited voice. This made the monkey faint of cuteness. 

 

Raj and Clam: LAZLO!!!! 

 

The yelling made Clam drop the kitten and tried to revive him. He did CPR on him and breathed air into his mouth. This action made Lazlo alive again. 

 

Raj: Why did you faint?

 

Lazlo: Kitten... Was... Too... Cute.....

 

Raj: Well, try to prevent yourself from fainting, OK.

 

Lazlo got up and spoke in a normal voice. 

 

Lazlo: OK, Raj. Besides, What gender are the kittens?

 

Clam immediately picked up the kitten he dropped in response and lifted his/her tail, the area had a upside down exclaimation mark, so it was a girl, which made sense since the color of her fur was pink, and her eyes were purple. He placed her down to check the rest of them. 4/6 were baby girls, while 2/6 were baby boys [(pink, blue, purple, and fern green are girls) (yellow and black and white were boys)] So 66% are girls, 33% are boys, another litter in which there are more girls than boys!

 

Clam: Most of them are girls, 66%. The rest of them are boys, 33%.

 

Raj: OK, what should we name them though.

 

Clam: Hmmmm... How about.... Aurora for the pink one.

 

Lazlo: I got one. How about for the yellow one, name him Reggie! 

 

Clam nodded in response to his answer.

 

Raj: And for the purple one, name her Petunia, because she's purple, and most petunias are pink and purple!

 

Clam: Good one, Raj! I'm going to name the fern-green and blue ones, Tristina and Sophie.

 

Lazlo: I get to name the tuxedo one! His name's going to be Jakey! 

 

Raj and Clam nodded in response, the latter person scooped up all of them and they went inside.

 

Well, that was it for this chapter! Find out what the Jellies are up to in the next chapter!


	2. Playing Around

The trio were back in the cabin, playing with the kittens. Each jelly have their favorite kitten:

 

Lazlo's favorites are the yellow and tuxedo kittens (Reggie and Jakey) 

 

Raj's favorites (by the sight of the kittens) are the fern-green and blue ones (Tristina and Sophie)

 

and Clam's favorites are the pink and purple ones (Aurora and Petunia)

 

So yeah, these are their favorite and "signature" kittens. Lazlo seems to like the boy ones just because he tends to like male animals better. Clam is very protective of all the kittens (he found them) and acts like a mother towards them.   
So anyway, let's see how those jellies react to these cute creatures. 

 

Lazlo is on the floor, playing with Reggie and Jakey with a piece of string.

 

Lazlo: Look! A snake! Get the snake! Ssssssssssssss.... *throws it across the room*

 

The babies run toward the string and play with it.

 

Clam's kittens (Aurora and Petunia) are play fighting with each other in his lap. 

 

Raj's kittens (Tristina and Sophie) are climbing all over him and licking him, marking their scent on him. To Raj, this really tickled and made him laugh.

 

Raj: *laughing* Stop! That tickles! You're licking me too much! *continues laughing* 

 

Even though the kittens liked Lazlo and Raj, they still liked their mommy (Clam). This instance happened when Jakey yanked the string out of Reggie's mouth roughly, hurting his emerging baby teeth. The poor boy started crying in distress. This made Clam alarmed.

 

Clam: Awwwww... Come here, Reggie.... *makes kissing noises*

 

The baby boy walked unsteadily to him, still crying. The rhino scooped him up and started petting him. This made the kitten start purring, and for the first time. 

 

Lazlo: Is Reggie OK?

 

Clam: Yeah, he's fine. He's just purring right now.

 

He placed the baby in his lap, the kitten snuggled up and purred himself to sleep. 

 

Lazlo: Should you punish Jakey for ripping the string out of his mouth?

 

Clam: No, he's only a baby, he doesn't know any better. 

 

Without warning, the rest of the babies (except for Jakey) went to Clam and jumped into his lap, purring themselves to sleep. These babies aren't as clingy as the baby ducks, but they're still pretty darn attached to that rhino. He scooped up Sophie and placed her close to his chest, allowing her to listen to his calming heartbeat, like in the womb. This made her fall asleep in his hands. Clam tried to call Jakey over like the rest of the babies, but he just didn't seem to listen. He's probably the only one of the kittens who's not attached to him, but instead attached to Lazlo. He walked over to him and meowed to be picked up, the monkey scooped him up and held him in his hands. 

 

Lazlo: Purrrr..... 

 

The boy purred in response. Then he climbed up his head and sat there. 

 

Raj was jealous, jealous that none of the kittens were attached to him. He sat down on his bed and sighed, wishing that the kittens liked him. 

 

Well, that's all for this chapter! What will Raj do next? Will the kittens like him? Find out in chapter 3!


	3. Jealousy and Protectiveness

It's been a while since we saw the Jelly cabin and the kittens. So we might as well make another chapter. Heck, we may even add the other bean scouts to this. Well, not now, just later.   
Anyway, let's get to this fanfiction, bro. 

 

It is 10 A.M, 2.5 hours after the bean scouts ate breakfast. Clam thought it would be fun to bring the kittens with him. However, this did not go so well, unlike the baby ducks who were actually well-behaved compared to them, the kitties wreaked havoc in the mess hall, stole some of the scouts' food, and nearly made Samson break into hives (he's allergic to cats). So yeah, these cats are banned to go in the mess hall. The Jellies are forced to eat in their cabin, since the kittens (except one) are so attached to Clam (love at first sight, once again). Is it just me, or do animals seem to naturally love that rhino?

Whatever, LET'S GET TO THE FREAKING STORY!!

 

Recite, It is 10 A.M, 2,5 hours after the bean scouts ate breakfast. In the Jelly cabin, Raj is still jealous that the kittens like his friends, but not him. One kitten thinking Lazlo's his mom, and the rest of them thinking that Clam's their mom. But not him. He felt so angry, that he felt like he was going to cry. The elephant tried to fight his tears, but failed sadly. 

 

Raj: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! WHY DON'T THEY LIKE ME?!

 

He cried, complaining that none of the cats like him. Even boasting about how they licked him like they were grooming him. He looked at his friends to see if they'd listen, but they kept doing their own business.

 

Raj: Hello? Is anybody listening to me? HELLO?!

 

No one responded. 

 

Raj: Grrrrrrr... THAT DOES IT! 

 

He picked up one the kittens like he was about to throw her. He swore bad language at her (nothing a 10 year old should be saying), and tried many ways to get his friends' attention. He called the poor guy "A tiny fish-eating monster" and threw her against the wall. This got Clam's attention, and he looked in horror as he saw his baby lying on the ground, crying in pain. He scooped her up gently, and glared at Raj. He wasn't that impressed at what his friend did to this helpless kitty. 

 

Clam: YOU MONSTER! YOU COULD'VE KILLED HER! 

 

He was very furious, more than when Scoutmaster Lumpus took the last pancake which made him become an outlaw for a few days, more than when he tried to cut down the Migrating Mulberry Tree. He was very angry, all because his friend threw a kitten against a wall. 

 

Raj: C'mon Clam, it's just an animal.

 

This made Clam even more mad, to the point of his face turning red. 

 

Clam: ANIMAL?! SHE'S A DEFENSELESS LITTLE KITTY! SHE CAN'T STAND UP FOR HERSELF!! YOU CALL AN INNOCENT, ADORABLE KITTY AN ANIMAL?!!! SHE JUST WANTS TO CUDDLE, NOT BE THROWN AROUND HELPLESSLY BY A MEAN AND EVIL ELEPHANT LIKE YOU!!!

 

He was flipped out. He continued to stare angrily at him, clenching his teeth, and hugging his cat protectively as he did so. 

 

Raj: Clam! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to do that!

 

Clam: Oh, yes you did.

 

This is where Lazlo started to notice the fight and went over there to tame it. 

 

Lazlo: OK, guys, why are you fighting?

 

Clam: Raj threw Sophie! He called her an animal! 

 

Lazlo didn't get mad, he just looked disappointed at Raj. He tried to settle the argument like the hippie he is. 

 

Lazlo: Raj, do you think it's kind to throw a kitten against the wall? Why would you do such an act?

 

He confessed, he tried to explain, but was too scared to tell. 

 

Raj: Ummm... I... Wanted some attention? 

 

Lazlo shot a disgruntled expression.

 

Lazlo: C'mon, Raj. You're better than that! OK, if you throw or hurt another kitten, You will no longer be our friend. 

 

Clam: Yeah, what he said....

 

Raj agreed to the promise, and told them that he needed to take a break. 

 

Raj: Can a take a break?

 

Lazlo: Sure. 

 

The indian elephant exited out of the cabin to hang out with Milt (he was one of his back-up friends that he hung out with when he feels stressed). 

 

Meanwhile, Clam sits on his bed, and pets the hurt kitty. He grabs his toothbrush from the dresser and uses it brush her. This made the cat feel much better, and even to the point where she's purring. She reaches her tiny paws at the rhinos face so she can touch it (and lick it). 

 

Clam: Are you trying to groom me? IS SOMEBODY TRYING TO GROOM ME?!

 

He spoke in a sing-songy voice as he brushes the girl. He brushes her on the chest, which made her start grooming herself for the first time, (after all, they are between 4-5 weeks old). 

 

Clam: Awwwwww... She hit a milestone... 

 

Sophie started licking his hand, grooming him. This made him giggle lightly. 

 

Clam: That tickles! 

 

He then decided it would be nice to do the same to the other kittens. So he placed her down, and went to his friend's (Lazlo) bed, where the rest of them are sleeping on. He brushes them with his toothbrush, but none of them seem to be doing it. Suddenly, Petunia woke up hungry, crying for food like a human baby. 

 

Clam: Uh-oh, I think she's hungry. Let me see if we have a bottle. 

 

He looked around for a bottle, but none were to be found. So he ran like Sonic the Hedgehog to Prickly Pines to get some Kitten Supplies (a set of milk bottles, cat food, toys, blankets, a dog bed, a Snugga Kitty, a litter box, stuff for when a cat goes to the bathroom, a scratching post, and a cat carrier.) Within 10 minutes, he came back. He placed the scratching post near his bed, the dog bed in front his bed, the litter box under his bed, and the Snugga Kitty in his shirt. He scooped up the purple kitty, and started feeding her milk. She drank and purred for about 5 minutes, before she spat it out and started meowing again. 

 

Clam: Still hungry... *thinking* Cat food!

 

He grabbed a bowl from when he took care of the ducklings and poured some wet cat food in it. Then he called her over.

 

Clam: Enjoy!

 

The cat started eating and could be heard purring while doing so. The rhino sat there happily watching her eat. The kittens that were previously sleeping woke up and climbed into his lap. Tristina started kneading his leg, purring happily. Reggie started suckling on his shirt. Aurora started climbing up him and suckling on his neckerchief. They were purring happily at their new mother, who found them in a box in the middle of the night while looking for goblins. Jakey, on the other hand, just jumped off the bed and walked to Lazlo.

Lazlo: Come here you. *scoops him up*

 

The kitten started suckling on his neckerchief like what Aurora is doing to Clam. This made the monkey smile. 

 

Lazlo: You are so cute....

 

He stroked the kitten as he suckled on him.

 

Well, that's all for the third chapter. Now let's see what will happen next!


	4. Kittens in Peril

It's been 3.5 hours since the end of Chapter 3, when the Jelly duo (Lazlo and Clam) fed the kittens and played with them. Now it's 1:30 P.M, and our beloved main protagonist is playing with them outside instead. He somewhat got bored of sitting in the cabin, so he decided to go outside and sit behind Pinto cabin (Edward, Chip, and Skip's cabin). Did he use a transport or anything? No, He just simply walked there with his 5 babies following him like ducklings. Then he sat down and let them crawl all over him (they still are). He has been giggling as the young cats crawled over him, tickling his body. He smiled until Reggie decided it would be funny to place his butt on his face. 

 

Clam: Why is your ass on my face? Please get off.

 

Reggie didn't listen to him and sat down on his EYES. This made him even more annoyed, instead of punishing him, he scooped him off his eyes and cuddled him. As he cuddled the orange kitty, he saw Sophie playing with his tail as if it were a mouse. He smiled in response to this. This kept going on until she bit the end of his tail and he screamed. 

 

Clam: OUCH!

 

Edward heard this and stormed outside to see what was up. To his surprise, he saw a albino pygmy rhino with 5 kittens surrounding him. 

 

Edward: Clam!

 

The rhino heard a familiar platypus' voice that sounded angry. He responded in an exhausted way.

 

Clam: What?

 

The disgruntled platypus facepalmed himself and scooped up one of his kittens.

 

Edward: Why would you play with your stupid, dumbass kitties, behind my cabin?

 

Clam: I couldn't find any other place.

 

Edward: If you keep going into my property, I will kill your kittens.

 

This made the rhino scared and he took off like a rocket back to his cabin. One of the kittens bit Edward's hand and took off after him. The rest of the kittens did so too. This made him cry in pain.

 

Edward: *crying* Crap! Mommy! My hand! It freaking hurts! *runs back into his cabin*

 

Back at the cabin, he (Clam) heard some high-pitched meows outside. He looked outside to see his kittens staring at him. He just sighed and opened the door for them. The second the door opened, they ran inside. He scooped them up and placed them in the dog bed behind his own bed, then he sat down. One of the kitties (Tristina) kept staring at him and purring. He stared right back and started smiling. 

 

Clam: Awwwww... Your eyes are so adorbs. *scoops her up* Oh, aren't you a cute kitty? Yes, you are so cute. Yes you are, yes you are. *kisses her* Yoo da cootest kitty eva.

 

The girl responded with a high-pitched meow. 

 

Clam: You are so cute, seriously. *places her on his nose*

 

Tristina was confused of what was happening to her, so she nursed on his horns instead. 

 

Clam: Awwww... My horns are not food! *giggles* 

 

The young cat climbed up his head and went under his scout cap. She started mewing happily inside, echoing of the insides of the cap. This made him smile, but into a full-fledged smile. He took off his cap, which made the silly baby fall upside down into it. 

 

Clam: You guys are so freaking adorable, that I can't stand it! 

 

He stopped smiling and turned around to see Petunia playing with his tail. This made him smile even more, his eyes turning animesque, and his ears perking up. The cuteness level of the kittens made him speechless and unable to talk. He smiled and had that "I just got cuteness overload" face on as he watched her nip, play, and nurse on his tail. The rest of the kittens got up from their bed and climbed into his lap, preferring their warm mommy than their huge dog bed. The kittens looked up at him with a cute face and cue their squeaky meows of joy, as if they were saying "mama". Well, if you ever to convert their age, then they'd be approximately 6-8 months old (when a baby starts to say "mama" or "dada") in human years, but whatever, they're still babies anyway. 

Sophie crawled under his shirt and begun nursing on his belly button, thinking it was a nipple. The kneading kinda scratched him a bit, but that didn't faze him, and the purring made his heartbeat slower and more relaxed. 

 

Clam: I'm proud to be a mama. A mama of kittens. 

 

30 minutes of cuteness and cuddle time later....

 

Clam: I'm bored. I wanna go outside. 

 

He got up and walked to the door with his scout cap on and everything (duh!). He did a kissing sound and called them over. Then he opened the door for himself and the babies. The 6 go to Leaky Lake to have some fun, but when they got there, they are greeted by an angry eagle. The eagle looked like your average eagle, but it had scary and threatening red eyes, it did not look friendly at all. The bird studied his features for a second, then he came closer and this time, studied the kittens' features as if he were about to kidnap them.

 

Clam: Uh-oh...

 

The eagle came even closer, then without warning, snatched Aurora away. This made the rhino (and her siblings) distressed. 

 

Clam: MY BABY!!!!! 

 

He started chasing after the large bird, all around the beach, all around camp. Within about 3 minutes, he caught the kitten. He hugged her protectively and buried his head over her so nobody else could steal her.

 

Clam: I'm so glad you're safe. 

 

The kitten meowed contently and started purring, the eagle watched in anger. The rhino foiling his plan, he decided to call his friends to help kidnap the cats. He did the eagle screech and within 2 seconds, his friends surround him. Aurora stopped purring and meowed at Clam to remind him that the eagles were up to no good. He looked at what she was meowing about and ran off with her in his hands. The 5 eagles started chasing after him. Screaming and panicking, he scooped up the rest of the kittens and kept running for his life. 

 

Clam: AHHHHHHHH!!! STAY AWAY EAGLES! MY BABIES!!!!!!!!

 

All the other campers (including Edward) watched in horror at what was going on. Poor Clam just kept on running frantically in large circles, after a few laps, Sophie fell out of his arms. The terrified baby doesn't know where to go and starts crying urgently for her mama.  
Before she and he knew it, one of the eagles swooped down and kidnapped her. This made her cry even harder and literally to the point of screaming like a human girl. The frantic rhino mom at 10 years old ripped off a tree and threw it at the eagle, but the eagle was still clutching the kitten. Smirking, the eagle snatched Reggie also. 

Lazlo: REGGIE!!!! NOOOOOO!!!!

 

The spidermonkey squeezed his kitten (Jakey) tight and started crying. 

 

The eagles then snatch Tristina, Petunia, Aurora, and even Clam himself. Clam, still holding on to Aurora, flew 20 feet up in the sky with the eagles. Aurora clung onto the rhino in fear, while Clam was shaking, worried about what was going to happen next. What was going to happen next? Oh, the eagle keeping him hostage decided to attack him, because he wasn't letting go of the pink kitty. He attacks him until he drops the kitten, then eventually falls down from the sky. The 5 large birds fly away. Devastated and heartbroken, the poor guy starts bawling hard. The other scouts (even Edward), come to Clam to comfort him. 

 

Clam: MY KITTENS ARE GONE!!! *continues bawling*

 

Edward: *pats his back* It's gonna be okay, Clam. I'm pretty sure your babies will come back soon. 

 

Clam: No they won't! They're gone, gone forever!!!!

 

Dave: Awww... Clammy poo... Why don't you hang out with us?

 

Ping-Pong: Yeah, we can go to Prickly Pines. 

 

Voice: Is anyone OK?

 

A gruff and low voice was heard. It was Scoutmaster Lumpus. He went to the sad creature and surprisingly, and out of character, he tried to console him, he knealed down to his level, and hugged him, patting his back at the same time.

 

Lumpus: It's gonna be OK, kid. We'll get you a new kitten, I promise. 

This made Clam stop sobbing. 

Clam: *sniff* Really?

 

Lumpus: Yeah, maybe like this. 

 

He shows a picture of a young kitten (around the same age as his "old" ones) playing with a string. The kitten was "normal-colored" with ginger coats on it and blue eyes. This made him upset even more, accepting his "old" kittens better.

 

Clam: It's not the same! *starts bawling again* 

 

Suddenly, a familiar high-pitched meow was heard at a distance. It was the kittens! They came back! Apparently, the eagles thought they didn't taste too good, so they brought them back to their owner and mother (Clam). Everyone but Clam noticed that and tried to remind him.

 

Chip: *pointing up at the sky* Clam, your kittens!

 

Beavie: Your kittens are about to fall!

 

Gordon: Catch them before it's too late! 

 

It was too late, the eagles lost their grip on the kittens. Clam, upon hearing their screams of help as they fell, finally listened, he started to run towards the babies, catching them one by one. Everyone started cheering as they saw them purring and rubbing against their mother, one of them started licking him like a puppy. But all isn't calm yet, he noticed that Petunia had scars and a huge, bloody wound on her shoulders, freaking out, aaannd dropping his kittens... He rushed her to Scoutmaster Lumpus and told him to bring her to Nurse Lesile to get her fixed up. Instead of handing her back to him and not caring at all, he accepted. 4 of the kittens ran up to the albino pygmy rhino and started rubbing against him some more, purring even harder. 

 

Will all be calm in the next chapter? Find out in Chapter 5!


	5. Protective Rhino

It's been about 1.5 since Petunia was at Nurse Leslie's healing back to normal. Surprisingly, her pain didn't last very long and within 95 minutes, she was a-okay. The kittens were fine and happy, but not Clam. Ever since the incident with the eagles, he has been extra-protective of them, not letting ANYONE touch them, even Lazlo and Raj. At all times, he carries them in his arms or lets them follow him behind like baby ducks. An instance where he got mad was this:

 

He was walking around camp, strolling with his babies. Momentarily, a Walrus scout named Harold meets him and asks if he could pet his kittens. 

 

Harold: Hey, Clam, can I pet one of your kittens? Please?

 

This made the rhino very upset and he said this:

 

Clam: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! GET AWAY YOU FREAKING MONSTER!

 

He pushes him out of the way and glares at him until he couldn't see him anymore. 

 

Harold: That wasn't nice....

 

He continues walking with the kittens in his arms, he then finds a rock to sit on, he takes a seat, placing the kittens down. They go off and explore like normal 4.5 week olds should, but this did not make him very happy. He does a "mama cat" call to them, they listen and walk over to him. He scoops up Reggie and pets him, causing him to purr, then abruptly climbing up him. He does a generic cat call to make him get down.

 

Clam: Meow. Mrrrow.

 

The baby listened aaanndd... climbed up his scout cap... Clam hisses like a cat, this made the kitten scared and he started crying. He (Clam) gets him down, and tries everything to soothe him. He sung lullabies, shushed, pat his back, purred, you named it. Embarrassed by everyone giving him dirty looks, he walks back to his cabin. The pygmy rhino sits on his bed, doing everything he can to get him to stop crying. This whole thing took 10 long minutes before he could stop crying. 

 

Clam: Finally... *sighs* Go play on your scratching post. 

 

He sets the orange kitty on top of the kitty tree/scratching post. Now he deals with Tristina and Aurora. He gets out a bunch of toy rodents filled with cat nip and gives them to the girls. In less than 3 seconds, they started shredding it, like dogs if you give them stuffed animals. Aurora gets jealous at Tristina's "better" toy and pounces towards her. She rough-houses with her until he drops the toy, with caused her to, uggghhh, cry... again... Clam, stressed out, scoops up the crying kitten and pets her. Aurora stopped crying within 10 seconds, unlike Reggie who cried for 12 minutes. He places her down and offers her a better toy; a light up plastic mouse. This made her thrilled and she immediately snatches the toy out of his hand. Right after, Sophie started crying (she was hungry). Clam, even more stressed, scoops her up and feeds her a bottle of kitten milk replacement. Purring, she tries to touch his face as she ate, which made him smile. 

 

Clam: Awwwww... She wants to touch my face. 

 

He lets her touch his face, but the complete opposite of what was supposed to happen had her SCRATCHING his face instead. Left with bloody scratches on his horns, he stopped feeding her and lied down on his bed, exhausted from all the parenting and crying.

 

Clam: Parenting is so hard. 

 

3 hours of parenting and stress later...

 

It is 8:00 P.M, Lazlo and Raj enter the cabin to see their friend lying on his bed with cat hair, cat nip, and the kittens rolling all over him. 

 

Lazlo: Clam, what happened?

 

Clam: Parenting, Lazlo. I'm stressed.

 

Lazlo, Jakey, and Raj looked at each other with a dazed expression.

 

Lazlo: Listen, you know how much I have been through with raising Jakey, right?

 

Clam: Yeah. 

 

Raj: I'm very lucky, even though I wanted a kitten, I changed my mind. Well, let's just get this through, kittens are very demanding creatures, so if you are stressed of raising them, maybe you should give them up for adoption. 

 

Clam couldn't believe what he heard, he got so enraged that his head grew big, face turned red, and his ears turned into flames.

 

Clam: NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

His face turned back to normal, and he started sobbing.

 

Clam: Lazlo, Raj, I don't wanna give up my babies! They're mine! They love me!

 

Lazlo, Raj, and Jakey looked at each other again.

 

Raj: I know, but you may have to give them up.

 

Clam: No! 

 

Lazlo: Yes, Clam, you may have to give them up for adoption. 

 

Clam: Listen you stupid monkey and spicy elephant, if you don't wanna agree with me and understand me, then get out! Get out until you decide to understand me! OK?!

 

Lazlo and Raj's feelings were hurt, they sadly left the cabin, with no response or anything. Meanwhile, Clam gets out of his bed and digs through the costume chest (the Jellies' costumes for when they played games) and found a cat suit. 

 

Clam: Meow.....

 

He dressed himself in the ginger furry costume, placed on the black gloves and socks, and placed the cat ears headband on his head. 

 

Clam: I'm a real mama cat! Meow!

 

He started acting like a cat by rolling all over the floor and purring. The purring got the kittens' attention, which made them try to jump off his bed, all of them except for Tristina jumped off successfully. Instead of jumping off like her siblings, she called for her mama, which was Clam. Instead of walking like a normal cat, he walks to her and scoops her up, while still meowing.  
Tristina starts purring and licking his face, which caused him to go into a laughing fit. 

 

Clam: Stop it Tristina! That tickles! *laughing* 

 

The other kittens crawled all over him, doing the same thing; licking, purring, kneading on him, playing with his tail. This continues for 5 minutes until Sophie bit him on the tail, leaving a deep, bloody mark. 

 

Clam: Ouch! Awwww... Bad kitty... Bad... *pets her* Awww... Are you bad? Yes you are a bad kitty... Yes you are yes you are.. *cuddles her* 

 

Sophie: Mew. 

 

Clam: You are a cute kitty.

 

2 more hours of kitty time later....

 

It's bed time for Clam and the kittens, but this time, instead of sleeping in his bed, he sleeps on the floor, with his babies all over him. And he's in his tank top which shows his belly. He turns off his flashlight and meows to the kittens.

 

Clam: Meow.

 

Kittens: Meow.

 

What will happen next? Find out in freakin' chapter 6!


	6. Escaping Camp

It was 5 A.M in morning, everyone was still asleep, all except for our main protagonist (You know him). Why did he wake up 2 hours prior? Because he knew everyone would want to pet and touch the kittens, so he snuck to the woods with his babies to hide from everyone. The rhino traveled far from the camp until it was nowhere to be seen. He was a bit scared to be all by himself without his friends, but at least he had his cats in his arms. After 20 minutes of walking, he found a hiding place, it was a dark cave with stones, pebbles and all that stuff. He dawdled inside, then sat down.

 

Clam: Nobody will find me here. 

 

The poor guy curls up into a ball as the kittens jumped out of his arms, exploring their surroundings. He was shivering nervously, and sucking his thumb vulnerably. Sophie saw the bean scout curled up into a ball, shivering and sobbing quietly. The upbeat blue kitten walks unsteadily towards him and tries to comfort him. She grooms him, rubs against him, everything she could. Unfortunately, he was still sobbing in fear. Realizing that her grooming didn't cure him, she comes up to his face and without warning, nursed on his nose. This made the scared rhino stop crying and started smiling. He disassembles from his fetal position as the baby kept suckling on his nose. He scoops her up in his hands and cuddled her against his face. 

 

Clam: I love you so much... 

 

He kisses her on his forehead, gave her a few scratches behind the ear, and even allowed her to nurse on his tank top. The rest of the kittens crawled to him as if they knew their mother well enough (it's been 4 days, so that's logica... LOL! I copied Dave!). All of them, except Reggie, were curled up to their mom, purring themselves to sleep. The orange kitten decided to roam away from the cave so he could make new friends. Clam himself, started to get tired, so he lied down on the cold, grassy floor and fell asleep. 

 

The next morning (literally 3 hours later), Clam woke up to a cluster of kittens that weren't his, nor has he met before. Reggie must've made some new friends and thought it would be nice if he could introduce them to him. There were many different colors and breeds (Red, Magenta, Black, Turquoise, Persian, Ginger, Siamese, etc.). Before the "mama" bean scout knew it, all of kittens, including his own, walked up to him and started to crawl all over him. He couldn't help but to giggle during this (It's always hard to resist, especially when you got 30+ kittens crawling all over you). 

 

Clam: *giggling* Kitten pile! Petunia, Sophie, Tristina, and a bunch of kittens I don't know, that tickles!

 

They just wouldn't stop. They kept swarming all over him, licking, purring, and nursing on him. He tried to get up, but he was restricted due to the kittens literally holding him down. Suddenly, one of the stranger kittens stole his bean scout cap and started to play with it. 

 

Clam: Hey! That's my cap! Give it back!

 

His annoyance was altered by a kitten licking his face. He continued to giggle uncontrollably as they continued to lick his face.

 

2 hours of kittens licking and kneading a bean scout later....

 

A quadruplet of kittens were seen pushing a large cardboard box that read "Clam's Kittens (DO NOT TOUCH)". They moved it in front of Clam and mewed at him to get his attention. The albino pygmy rhino finally got up, covered in bruise-like hickies and cat fur. He was both relieved and disappointed to get up, probably due to the uncontrollable affectation given by the cats. He placed all of the kittens in the box, one by one. 

 

Clam: *sighs* Now all of you cuties are safe in this box, let's go.

 

He picks up the heavy box and continues his journey. 

 

What will he stumble into next? Find out in Chapter 7!


	7. Kittens, Superpowers, Oh my!

It has been a mostly quiet, but cloudy day in the middle of nowhere; A forest with a cave, and a plains area with few trees. Our cat "lady" (Clam) is continuing his journey to get as far away from Camp Kidney as possible (He's permanently running away, unlike the episode where he became an outlaw, he ran away for a few days). The bean scout, still in his pajamas, travels carrying a huge box of kittens, who were mewing happily. He was smiling as he heard the high-pitched cries of his babies. 

 

Clam: You guys are soooooo cute! 

 

The kittens respond to his disturbingly deep and gruff voice with a purr.

 

He continued walking and walking until a mysterious breeze surrounded him, the breeze raised him up about 2 feet in the air, confusing him.

 

Clam: Woah, what's going on?

 

No second later, red, purple, blue, yellow, and green lights appear in the sky, the sun turning into an orbit, and the scout floating even higher in the air. A tiny, neon, but a cute-looking fairy rose from the orbit slowly, with the rhino's face looking surprised, and flew toward him. She spoke to him in a quiet, distorted voice that sounded like a little kid.

 

Fairy: Hello, yellow rhino, I am the daughter of S.M.I.T.S. 

 

Clam was still confused.

 

Clam: Uuuuhhh... What?

 

The fairy flew up onto his nose and continued speaking.

 

Fairy: S.M.I.T.S told me that you were a kitten rescuer, is that true? 

 

The albino pygmy rhino nodded.

 

Clam: Yes.

 

The young fairy started to giggle.

 

Fairy: *giggling* Awesome.... 

 

Clam: Why's that?

 

Fairy: Because, you... You are truly a hero...

 

Clam: Why, thank you.

 

Fairy: In fact, I decided to give all of my ancestors' powers to you, that includes flying, having the ability to breastfeed or do anything cat-related, and you... You glow in the dark... Like a firefly.....

 

The fairy flew back up into the sun, wishing him good luck, giggling as she does. Clam, who is astonished of his new powers, dumps out his kittens from the box, he scoops them up, and he flies off with them in his arms. Everything felt and was badass; flying 30 feet in the sky, nursing a bunch of kittens through your small tanktop, and he himself meowing in triumph. He flew all over the world, in space, through out the whole galaxy, anywhere. The world was a much better place now that he had kittens and that he could fly. Heck, the kittens could fly too, a few of them released from his arms, all of them flying like the Powerpuff Girls. Everyone, all from around the world; Japan, Africa, South America, Russia, China, The Netherlands, Bahamas, France, United Kingdom, Cuba, and even Korea were clapping and cheering as they saw the team fly together. 

 

Clam: I feel like a god! And I should be proud!

 

Kittens: Mew!

 

20 minutes of pure magic later....

 

Tired and worn-out, Clam and the kittens were laying on the roof of a farmhouse. It looked like your average farm with some silos next to it. They were proud of their powers. Unfortunately, they don't last all the time, they only last for about 20 minutes, then they restore the next day. 

 

*C418's Moog City starts playing*

 

Clam: I love it out here. No camp, no people trying to steal my babies, no eagles, no jerks, no adults... Just me and my kittens. 

 

He scoops up one of the kittens and starts to pet her. This makes her purr and she starts to rub against him. He kisses her on the forehead. 

 

Clam: I love you sooo much.... *stops smiling* Hmmm... What should I name you....

 

The kitten he was holding was neon-green with eyes that of the same color. So the name had to be something that had to do with green. He (Clam) looks at the trees, then comes up with something very nature-like and all that stuff.

 

Clam: Sage! Awwwwwww... Who's my little Sage? Who's my little Sage? You are! 

 

The kitten reaches at his face and starts mewing happily. This made the bean scout even happier and he starts cuddling her as he spoke baby talk to her.

 

Clam: You are so cute, *cuddles her* you are so cute, yes you are, yes you are.... *cuddles her some more* I wuv yooo... I wuv yooo soooo.... MUCH! *kisses her* Yoo are coote kitteh, yes are you, yes are you..... 

 

(So as you know, there will be some translation in this line, and some after.) That's not the kitten talking, that's me.

 

Sage: Mew! (Mama!)

 

Clam: Awwwww... Yoo think Clam mama? YOO THINK CLAM MAMA? *meows like a cat*

 

Sage: Meow! 

 

The scout gets off the roof by jumping off it. (he didn't even get hurt). He then places her down and lets her explore for a bit.

 

*C418's Haggstrom starts playing*

 

Clam: You look so cute, even when you walk. *smiles harder*

 

Sage walks around, exploring this whole farmland that must've been someone else's. Clam's lucky that he didn't get caught... She moves farther and farther away until she gets "lost" and starts crying for her mama. She sounded very desperate and urgent when she cried, also cacophonic as hell.

 

Clam: Awww... Don't cry... 

 

He walks over to her and scoops her up, causing her to stop crying. She looks up at him and starts... mewing again.

 

Sage: Mew? (Mama?) *licks him*

 

Clam: *giggling* It tickles!

 

She squirms out of his hands and wanders off. 

 

Clam: I thought you wanted your mama!

 

She keeps on crawling until a grey canine-like creature appears in front of her. The creature looked ticked off and was growling. It was clearly a wolf. Without warning, he picked up the kitten in his mouth and started chewing on her. This scared the living hell out of Clam so much, that he almost died from a heart attack. 

 

Clam: BAABY!!!!

 

He runs towards her in hurry, trying to rescue her. But it was too late...... What will our hero do next? Will he retrieve her? Will he defeat the wolf? 

 

Find out in Chapter 8!


	8. Kitty In Distress And New Babies

OH MY FREAKING GOD. ONE OF CLAM'S KITTENS GOT SNATCHED BY A WOLF, AND NOW HE'S CHASING IT FRANTICALLY.... Sorry, I was so scared that I had to type in all caps. Cue the Wolf!

 

Wolf: *panting* *barking*

 

The second antagonist of the fanfiction is running away with his (Clam) kitten, Sage. He was barking at the same time as he was carrying her in his mouth. Our protagonist is chasing after him, crying for his kitten, with tears in his eyes.

 

Clam: Get back with my Sage! *crying* 

 

The wolf simply ignored him and kept on running. The poor rhino wanted his kitten back, he was crying so hard, that he was literally shedding waterfalls as he ran. He howled like a dog as he cried, which got the wolf's attention. 

 

Clam: My baby!!!! *howling* Oooohhh... My baaabbbyyy!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

 

He stopped crying as he saw the angry dog face towards him, dropping his kitten, much to his liking, but he targeted TOWARDS him now. The wolf started attacking Clam, who was screaming in agony as he got bitten, scratched, and gnawed on. Sage, his kitten, was staring in horror. She started crying pretty hard as she watched her mama get attacked by a wolf. Then less than a second, she snapped. She was growling, and for the first time ever, hissed. She ran towards the wolf and starts biting and scratching at him. The angry kitten tries everything to stop him, but he's still attacking him. So, she starts hissing at him like she's bigger than him or something. The wolf finally responded. Whimpering, he finally ran away, dropping Clam. 

 

Clam: Thank you so much, kitty!!! *scoops her up* You are a hero!!

 

The kitten licks him a couple times on his nose. The bean scout holding her was mostly not harmed (he's a very special and invincible bean scout, that's why), except his bean scout cap was eaten up and in shreds.

 

Clam: You are my only kitten, next to Sophie... and Reggie..... *cuddles her* No one can ever replace you.... 

 

Suddenly, a 2 faint, but a squeaky sounding meow was heard from the bushes. 

 

Clam: Except for 2......

 

He places her down and looks to see what was coming from the bush. He went inside to see 2 young kittens no older than 3 weeks old (2 weeks at most), crawling around, crying for their mama. They were violet and dark blue and were obviously twins. And they were crying desperately, they needed a mom. Until they suddenly stopped and looked up at the yellow creature staring down at him, and became imprinted on him. 

 

Clam: Why are you guys staring at me like that?

 

The kittens start crying again, this time crying for him to pick them up. One of them even trying to crawl towards him. They were begging, and begging for him to take care of them. 

 

Clam: Fine.... 

 

He picked up the kittens and showed them off to Sage.

 

Clam: Awwwww... Look, Sage, You have 2 new brothers! Or, Ummmm.... Maybe even sisters.... Hmmmmm.... 

 

1 minute later....

 

It turns out that the violet one was a girl, and the dark blue one was a boy. Sooo... Now it was time for names.... But this time, it all came out of his head.

 

Clam: Dusk for the violet one, Eclipse for the dark blue one.

 

It wasn't even a minute that the 4 met each other, and his (Clam) stomach was rumbling. It was obvious that he was hungry (he hadn't ate a single morsel in 2 days). 

 

Clam: Uh-oh, gotta get some food! You 3 stay right here, I'll be right back in 10 minutes. 

 

He walked away to get some food to eat, much to Eclipse and especially Dusk's dismay. As his figure faded away, they started to call out for mama, like it was the end of the world. Dusk started crawling in determination to their mama (Clam). Sage, annoyed, scuffed Eclipse to restrain him from following his sister's lead. Dusk was already almost at the end of the forest, where Clam had left.  
Along with her brother, she kept calling out for him. This was going to be a verrryyy long ride for Sage...

 

10 minutes later.....

 

Clam is finally back, he had a whole freaking carton of cookies for himself, milk bottles for the kittens, and a juice box. Dusk and Eclipse were so excited to see their mama. One of them even took their first steps towards him. 

 

Clam: Awwwwww... She took her first steps... Towards me..... *picks her up*

 

He sat down next to his other cat, Sage. He opens his carton of cookies and eats them, giving one to Sage. The twins see him eat, which causes them to start crying. 

 

Clam: You guys sound so desperate every time you cry. 

 

He gets out 2 milk bottles, then starts feeding them. They were purring and looking up at him as they fed, which made him happy. 

 

Clam: Awwww... You have the cutest purrs I've ever heard! 

 

Their crying/meowing and purring sounded mostly the same as the other kittens, but higher pitched, kinda like a squeaking door. They were imprinted on him, crying everytime he's gone. 

 

5 minutes later.... 

 

Clam: I'm tired of feeding you guys. 

 

He was tired of feeding the twin cats, it's been 5 minutes, as said on above Arrow Up . He quits feeding them, removing the bottles from their mouths. He places them on the ground, which makes them cry.... again...... This time, they cry like actual human babies, complete with their signature voices (squeaky doors). Clam decides to ignore them however... 

 

While they were crying, he took off all his clothes; a white tank top that shows his belly, his black pants and shoes, and his underwear. Then he gathered all of them, picked up the crying kittens, placing them on top of his clothes. He was completely naked, but he didn't care. Soooo..... He made a little basket for them using just sticks and leftover hay from the farm. 

 

10 minutes later...

 

There, he has made a basket! Now he places all his clothes in the basket, then the kittens inside. Dusk and Eclipse were still crying... For 15 minutes now. This set a world record for the longest time a kitten has cried. All because a bean scout wouldn't pick them up. The rhino started to get annoyed by the ear-splitting cries of the babies, they just wouldn't stop.... crying...... But he still ignored it, carrying the basket and continuing his adventure. 

 

Meanwhile at Camp Kidney.....

 

Everyone was in a panic, even Scoutmaster Lumpus. They have been looking for that one scout who has been friends with Lazlo and Raj for 3 days now. The scouts were antsy and paranoid, looking for Clam in order to get a reward of 5 hundred marshmallows. Heck, they are still looking for him. 

 

Scoutmaster Lumpus: Keep finding that jelly scout! He has to be somewhere!

 

Everyone, especially Jelly cabin were worried about Clam. Lazlo, Raj, Edward, Samson, and Harold have spent the most time looking for him. 

 

Lazlo: No, No, No! We're never going to find Clam!

 

Raj: I want those 5 hundred marshmallows! 

 

This sentence made Lazlo really upset, I mean very upset. 

 

Lazlo: C'mon, Raj! You care more about your stupid marshmallows than your best friend! 

 

Edward: Yeah, Raj. You should care more about Clam than the reward Lumpus is probably going to scam us out for.

 

Samson: Merp. You know, I'm allergic to cats! Merp. And I personally don't want that cat lady to come back to camp! Merp. 

 

Now Lazlo was mad at Samson, scolding him that he called his best friend at "cat lady", and that he was basically insulting Clam. 

 

Lazlo: Number 1, don't call my best friend a "cat lady". Number 2, CARE MORE ABOUT YOUR FREAKING FRIEND, JERKASS!!! 

 

Samson: But... It's my allergy.....

 

Harold: Samson, you've been around cats before.. 

 

Samson: True, but 6 of them?! I can't even handle all of that! 

 

Edward: Stop being such a baby, furball. 

 

Back to Clam....

 

In an empty field with tumbleweeds everywhere, our stressed hero was still carrying a basket full of crying kittens, the kittens were still screaming, each minute more urgent that the last. Yeah... Clam has had enough... His stress levels were high, his ears turning into flames, and his teeth were clenched. He grabbed the kittens angrily... then hugged them. He started crying, coming to a realization that he needs to go back to Camp Kidney, and to stop being a cat lady. He scooped one of the kittens up, with Sage looking at him concerned. His eyes turned watery as he stared into the dark blue eyes of Eclipse. His sister was still crying up a storm as her "mother" was staring into her brother's eyes, sobbing. 

 

Clam: What have I done?! I left my friends, Lazlo and Raj, just to spend time with my kittens! But I can't leave these helpless creatures by themselves! They need a mother! They... They... THEY NEED SOME LOVE AND AFFECTION!!! *bawling* 

 

The poor rhino was bawling his eyes out, guilty about leaving his friends. Sage continued looking at him, concerned, also purring and rubbing against him to make him feel better. He was calling out his friends' names as he cried.

 

Clam: LAZLO! RAJ! I'M SO SORRY!!!!

 

Back to Camp Kidney....

 

Lazlo, Raj, Edward, and Samson were sitting at the campfire, telling memories they shared with Clam, and how much they loved him. They were also calling out their friend's name.

 

Lazlo: Oh, Clam! I wish you could come back!!

 

Raj: We miss you so much!!!

 

Edward: Clam is the greatest friend I've ever had!

 

Samson: Oh, Clammy poo!!! We're sorry!!!

 

Will Clam get back home? Netherless, will he make it back with his kittens alive?


	9. Game Plan

Clam is still bawling his eyes out in the tumbleweed field. He thinks that he'll never get to go home again, and that if he does go home, he'll abandon his kitties. Nothing, nothing is on his mind, but homesickness and guilt. Eclipse, on the other hand, was sleeping after 2 hours of crying nonstop. Her brother, Dusk, was staring at him, confused. And Sage was asleep too; she must've gave up and fell asleep. Their mom, Clam, as I already mentioned, was still crying, having no hope in himself. 

 

Clam: I'll never go home! I don't wanna abandon these babies!! Not even my precious Sage! 

 

He hugs Dusk close to his chest and buries his head over him. Look. A naked rhino hugging a kitten while crying, sad, eh? Well, it gets even sadder. 

 

Clam: I'm never, ever, ever, ever, going to see Lazlo, Raj, Scoutmaster Lumpus, Slinkman, Samson, Harold, Patsy, Gretchen, Nina, and Edward EVER AGAIN!!!!! Not without the kittens! *continues crying*

 

Dusk looks up at him and starts mewing. This made him stop crying for a brief second in response to his mews.

 

Clam: What's that? You want me to take you back to camp? But what about your sister?! What about Sage?! What about all the other kittens?! 

 

Dusk mews again and starts to run his motor (purring). This made Clam a little bit better. He cuddles the tiny kitten against his chest, hugging him protectively. The tiny boy continues purring, but even louder than before. 

 

Clam: You seriously make the cutest sounds ever.

 

He tries to take him off his chest, but the kitty won't let go. He's clawed onto him, purring his tiny head off. He's even got to the point where he's licking his bare chest, like it's a nipple or something. 

 

Clam: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww....

 

He pets him as he licks his yellow chest. This moment truly made him feel alot better.

 

Clam: You DO think I'm your mommy....

 

Dusk continues nursing on him; this kind of behavior brings back memories of breastfeeding from mom, purring, and kneading her stomach. Yeah, that's the same exact thing he's doing, except it's to a jelly bean scout. The rhino giggles as he licks his chest.

 

Clam: Heh-Heh-Heh... Feels like wet sandpaper.... *smiles*

 

At Camp Kidney... 

 

The five friends (Lazlo, Raj, Edward, Samson, and Harold) were still worried about Clam. They were still sitting at the campfire at 10 P.M, woeing about him. Lazlo talking about how great of a friend he was, Raj talking about when he and Clam went on an adventure to find Lazlo during the "Fluffy Incident", Edward regretting about being annoyed with him so much, Samson talking about how he helped him overcome some of his fears, Harold talking about how much fun he and Clam hung out together. They missed him, very much.

 

Lazlo: I remember when Clam would call mustard "zing", then he and Raj would fight over whether buns or mustard were better. 

 

Raj: I remember when Clam and I went on an epic adventure to find you, Lazlo. 

 

Lazlo: Yeah.... And Fluffy....

 

Edward: I regret hating Clam... He's actually a fun to be around.... And not to mention, a good friend...

Lazlo, Raj, Samson, Harold: Awwwwwwwwww....

 

Samson: I remember that he helped me overcome my fear of mud. 

 

Harold: He was awesome to be around. Fun, cool, small, and funny. 

 

Lazlo: I agree with you, Harold.

 

Edward: And me too.

 

Then something popped in Lazlo's mind.

 

Lazlo: Guys, we should just go and find him by ourselves. 

 

The boys nodded in agreement to his idea, well, Raj and Samson didn't really agree and tried to turn him down. 

 

Raj: Lazlo, we're not allowed to go into nature...

 

Samson: Yeah, I break into hives and rashes even if a leaf touches me. 

 

Raj: It's very risky, I don't think we should do it.

 

The disagreement he made made Lazlo a bit upset.

 

Lazlo: C'mon Raj! Don't be such a baby! OK, what we're going to do, is that, we're going to find Clam, and nothing's going to stop us! So, first thing, take off your all your clothes.

 

Edward: Why would we wanna do that? People out there could easily kidnap us!

 

Lazlo: Edward, have you heard of Tarzan?

 

Edward: Duh.

 

Lazlo: He's a jungle man who wears no clothes, and he's the strongest, most badass, and toughest hero ever!

 

Edward: *sighs* Fine....

 

The campers take off all their clothes, including their underwear. They sneak out of the entrance of Camp Kidney and the search for Clam begins. 

 

Back to Clam....

 

Dusk, the 2 week old kitten, is still sucking on Clam's chest, purring and kneading at it. Much to his pleasure, he cuddles him close to his face, which makes him purr even more. The kitten has even gotten away with climbing up him and batting at his ears, much to the bean scout's happiness. 

 

Clam: Awwwwwww...

 

He places him back in the basket and next picks up his sister, Eclipse. She wakes up, staring at him as if she got attached to him. Aaandd... starts meowing...

 

Clam: Awww... What's the matter? Do you want to be on the cold ground? Oh yes you do.. Oh yes you do... 

 

He sits down on the cold grass, placing her beside his tail. Eclipse turns around to see a rhino tail right in front of her. She stares at it for a bit before finally touching it with her tiny paw. After a few pokes, she finally gets the hang of it and starts rough-housing his tail. 

 

Clam: I just love it when kittens discover something new...

 

He pets her as she tugs at his tail.

 

2.5 hours later....

 

It is 12:34 A.M, our main protagonist and his kittens are trying to find their way back home, and surprisingly on the way, they found about 90% of the kittens were dead. The wolf who attacked Sage earlier must've found jackpot and decided it would be fun if he ate all the kittens. The only surviving ones were Sophie, Reggie, Aurora, and Tristina. Petunia was dead, with her tail and right hind leg missing, and blood everywhere. The rhino, who loved his kittens so much, kneeled down and started crying. He picked up a dead Petunia and a dead Siamese kitten, hugging them both. 

 

Clam: My kittens! They're dead! *crying* Why would a monster wanna kill a bunch of 5 week old kittens? 

 

He stops crying to realize that the original 4 kittens were still alive, waiting for him to pick them up. 

 

Clam: At least Sophie, Reggie, Aurora, and Tristina are alive... 

 

He walks up to them and scoops them up. All of them purring, being glad to see him again. He also picks up Sage, and the basket with Eclipse and Dusk in it.

 

Clam: C'mon Sage, C'mon Kitties, we gotta get home! 

 

They hit the road, this begins a journey. A journey back to Camp Kidney....


	10. Epic Rhino

Our main protagonist is heading home. An adventure back to Camp Kidney, complete with the original 4; Aurora, Reggie, Tristina, Sophie, and the newest members; Sage, Dusk, and Eclipse. Sadly, Petunia is gone and eaten up by the wolf. But whatever, Clam wants to get home, so let's focus on that. Also, the fact that which kitten will survive the journey, and which one will die. So, anyway, let's start this thing...

It is currently in the middle of the night, our awesome rhino is currently at a local forest preserve with a huge lake, several benches, and a colossal forest system. Well, he's not walking right now, he's sitting on a bench near a forest path, taking care of his babies. Four of them were crying fearfully on his lap, the kittens were: Tristina, Eclipse, Dusk, and Reggie.

 

Clam: *petting them* It's gonna be OK, kitties... We'll make it home without dying...  
They continued crying, until Dusk climbed up his chest and started purring. This encouraged the other kittens to do the same, Clam smiled and purred back to them. It's very loving, especially when you have 7 kittens, ages 2 and 5 weeks old, snuggling against you, complete with loud purring.

 

Clam: Awwwwwwww....

 

The kittens felt safe, very safe. Also, if it weren't for the loving attention by Clam, the time and effort put into their needs, and the many stuff they have; a basket, food, and a living blanket (Clam), these babies would've been dead.  
He watched his kittens purr themselves to sleep, which makes him sleep as well (sorry if that sentence is confusing). Within 30 seconds, they were out cold. 

Unfortunately, this didn't last long. An hour later, the squad woke up to an angry honking sound right in front of them. It was a water-bird, it was black, brown, and white all over, it looked evil, it looked threatening.... 

It was a goose.  
And it did not look happy. At all. 

Clam has already been burdened by eagles, his friends, and wolves. Now this? What could this aquatic bird possibly do to harm him? Will it kidnap his kittens? What now? Nope, the bird is already up to something, coming closer, and closer to his kittens. Aaaandd..... OH NOES! D-DID IT JUST STEAL DUSK?! DID IT REALLY?! Yep, it did. You can tell because our frenzied rhino is already freaking out.

 

Clam: NOT AGAIN!! MY BABY!!!

 

He chased the goose all around the forest preserve, the same thing he did when the eagles kidnapped his kittens a day and a half prior. He did everything, he kicked, slapped, punched, and karate-chopped the evil bird. But nothing seemed to faze it. Nothing worked... It was hopeless...  
But not for long, something lit up in his mind. He did his famous imitation thing where he'd copy a voice (like he did with Edward), and this time, he copied a kitten's meows. THe goose dropped the kitten in response and started targeting him now. /> Clam: Awww... Crap.

 

You better run, Clam. You better freaking run. Grab the babies while you're at it.

This was it, he had officially hit the trails and is running like the wind now, with his kitties. With a goose chasing him behind. Holy crap.... What will our rhino do? Will he outrun the goose? Or will he get attacked and bitten to death? Oh.... No.... This is very bad....

 

Clam: *panting* You will never steal my babies! Never!  
He continues running, and his lungs are already starting to have breath shortage. But he doesn't give a crap, he just wants to protect his babies. His face was also starting to turn blue, but again, he doesn't give a crap. The goose was getting very agitated that his "intruder" was outrunning him. So he honked even louder, and in less than 3 seconds, every goose in the forest preserve were chasing Clam. The rhino looked back to see a flock of angry geese chasing after him. He started screaming very loudly and ran even faster. 

 

Clam: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
The kittens, on the other hand, had no clue what was going on. They were just gazing back at the flock of geese aimlessly, except for Dusk and Eclipse, who were sleeping through the chaos. They weren't aware that their mother is risking his life to protect them and that he's already turning blueish-purple. They weren't aware that... OH MY GOD!!! CLAM, LOOK OUT!!! THERE'S A CLIFF IN FRONT OF YOU!!! 

 

Clam: *looks at camera* Ehh... What? *looks in front of him* CLIIIFFFFFF!!!!!!! *stops running*  
He stopped at the edge of the cliff, the geese were already in front of him, walking menacingly towards him. Uh Oh... Clam's in huge trouble... Very huge trouble..... But, wait! What about his superpowers the fairy of S.M.I.T.S gave him? What about that? He just realized that. In order to get the fairy's attention, he screamed very, very loudly. Suddenly, a glow in the sky appeared, with the same fairy flying down towards him, and landing on his nose. 

 

Clam: Fairy, please help me! There's a gaggle of geese causing me burden, and I need my powers! Desperately!  
The fairy opened her eyes in shock. 

 

Fairy: Seriously?! You're having the burden?!  
Clam nodded.

 

Fairy: OK, I'll give you your powers, but ONLY for this battle, after that, you're gonna have to handle the disasters by yourself. 

 

Clam: OK.  
The fairy gave him his powers; glowing in the dark, flying, a literal milk machine, cat powers, and increased strength. Oh... Yeah... Also his bean scout cap...

 

Clam: Wait, fairy. Can you please fix my cap? It's from Camp Kidney.  
The fairy accepted with no hesitation.

 

Fairy: Sure thing! 

 

30 seconds of recreating a cap with magic later....

 

Fairy: Here's your bean scout cap, yellow rhino...

 

Clam: Thank you very much.  
He placed his oversized scout cap on his head.

 

Fairy: No problem....  
She flew back up into the clouds and disappeared. 

Now it is time for battle. Clam stood in front of the geese, growling back at them.

 

Clam: Time for a taste of your own medicine, geese!  
He ran up to the evil birds and started slapping, kicking, and scratching them like a cat. The geese got angrier, flying up in the sky in order to escape. 

 

Clam: *pointing up at the sky* Oh no you don't! You're not going anywhere! *flies into the sky*  
The geese started to get confused as he flew up to them. 

 

Clam: Also, since you escaped from my wrath, I will cause more agony to you than your whole life.  
The little badass charged into the flock, knocking them over. Then he started creating a huge ball of energy, with his hands.... The ball was bigger than both Camp Kidney and Acorn Flats combined, neon green, and had pixels and screenshots of past episodes of the cartoon this fanfiction is based on.  
The 5 people who were finding him, Lazlo, Raj, Edward, Samson, and Harold noticed the huge ball in the sky with their jaws drooped down on the ground. 

Lazlo: I-Is that a pixelated ball?

 

Raj: I-I-Is that Clam?

 

Samson: Holding the ball?!

 

Edward: What a badass. 

 

Harold: I also see past events that we did over the summer and last summer!

 

Raj: Harold, don't break the fourth wall!

 

Harold: Sorry.... Besides, what are those past events?

 

Lazlo: Those look like Clam's memories. 

 

Growling and grunting, their friend threw the ball very hard at the birds.  
Clam: DIE YOU EVIL GEESE!!!! SUFFER THE WRATH OF CLAM!!!!!!!! AND MY KITTENS!!!!  
He started to laugh manically.

Raj: Clam is going way too far with his kitten obsession. 

 

Samson: LAZLO!!! THE BALL IS COMING TOWARDS US!!! 

 

The group started screaming in fear and ran away for their life, as the ball was nearing and nearing to the ground. The pixels inside the ball exploded everywhere, creating a humongous explosion, with the green stuff flying all over the place. The explosion managed to reach as far as Prickly Pines, and as high as Great Mt. Whitehead. Bodies of the geese were basically dusty ashes on the ground now. Everything, I mean everything, were destroyed; even Camp Kidney itself, were turned into one huge sahara desert. Yes, Clam caused all of this. And now he's in even more trouble... By Scoutmaster Lumpus.... Will he still save his kittens and get back home? Or will he be banned permanently by his scoutmaster and never come back? Find out in Chapter 11.


	11. In Big Trouble

Scoutmaster Lumpus woke up from his nap to see a sahara desert in front of him and confused campers complaining about the environment. His face turned bright red and steam were coming out of his ears as he was growling in anger. 

 

Lumpus: SLINKMAN!!!!!!!!!!!! 

 

His yelling outburst got the attention of his assistant, Slinkman, who was also taking a nap. The slug walked over to him with a tired face. 

 

Slinkman: Yes, sir......

 

Lumpus: WHO THE HELL CAUSED THIS?! WHO?! TELL ME, TELL ME, TELL ME!!!!!

 

Slinkman: Well a day ago, I was at the tower looking at the forest, and I saw a pygmy rhino carrying a box of kittens.

 

Lumpus: WHAT PYGMY RHINO?!  
His assistant started shaking nervously, the timid banana slug didn't wanna say it out loud, so he whispered it into his ear.

 

Slinkman: It was Clam......  
The moose growled even louder and let out the biggest yell ever; louder than Ms. Mucus, louder than a jackhammer, it was the loudest yell ever. 

 

Lumpus: CLLLLAAAAAMMMMMMM!!!!! GET YOUR RHINO ASS OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Everyone, including Lazlo, Raj, Edward, Samson, and Harold heard it. Clam himself heard it as well. He was alarmed by the sound of it and flew back to the edge of cliff. He picked up his kittens and flew to the source of the sound. The 5 scouts saw him flying by, trying to wave at him and get his attention. But he was so scared, he wouldn't pay attention to his friends. The band looked up at the sky in awe.

 

Raj: Clam is in hot water right now. I mean, lava water. 

 

Lazlo: But I don't want Clam to get kicked out! He's our best friend!

 

Samson: I bet Scoutmaster Lumpus is very enraged.

 

Raj: He is.

 

The rhino landed slowly to ground and right in front of Scoutmaster Lumpus. He looked very nervous and scared when he looked up at his unamused expression. Heck, he was literally shaking like a spooked rabbit while this was happening. Since he was so nervous, he reverted back to his old speaking ways.

 

Clam: Clam sorry, sorry for running away....

 

Lumpus just got even madder and started ranting at him.

 

Lumpus: I DENY YOUR APOLOGY!!!!

The other scouts gasp at what he said.

 

Lumpus: YOU RAN AWAY FROM CAMP!!!! YOU KNOW THAT NATURE ISN'T ALLOWED IN CAMP PROPERTY!!!! YEAH, YOUR DUMB KITTIES!!!!! I REGRET OFFERING YOU A KITTEN!!!! I REGRET ALLOWING NURSE LESLIE TO HEAL YOUR PURPLE KITTY BACK TO HEALTH!!!! OH, AND YOU FREAKING DESTROYED THE WHOLE PRICKLY PINES AND GREAT MT. WHITEHEAD, FOR A DUMB CAT!!!!!! HECK, YOUR FISH-BREATH KITTENS DON'T DESERVE TO HAVE A MAMA!!!! 

Clam: Yes they do!! Babies love Clam for mama! *continues shaking in fear*

He rudely snatches the kittens from his arms and continues ranting on.

 

Lumpus: SEE?! YOUR KITTENS AREN'T CRYING... BECAUSE THEY HATE YOU!!! THEY DON'T EVEN NEED A MAMA!!! THEY'D RATHER CATCH MICE FOR A LIVING THAN HAVE AN EXCUSE FOR A MAMA TO CARE FOR THEM!!!  
All 7 of the kittens start bawling their eyes out, trying to escape the lunatic's arms. He was wrong, they loved their mother no matter what, but were too spooked to start crying immediately. Clam didn't cry, he just got angry at him.

 

Clam: Give... back.... KITTENS!!!!

He started kicking at him, trying to free his babies from the evil moose's arms.

 

Clam: You give back my kittens right now, Scoutmaster Lumpus!!

 

Lumpus: My ass!  
He shoves him, knocking him onto the ground. 

 

Clam: Hey! Why would you do that?! 

The kittens were still crying out loud. They were crying so loud, that their voices were already starting to get hoarse. The intensity of their crying made him even more upset, to the point where he got up and kicked Lumpus in the shin so hard, he fell on the ground, crying. This action made him drop the kittens. Lumpus: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! MY SHIN HURTS!!!!!!! *crying* Clam: This is what you get, asshole. He picked up the kittens, causing them to finally stop crying. Then he "flipped" off the scoutmaster and walked away. On his way, he was interrupted by an unknown shaking of the ground, either it was an earthquake, or a giant monster just stomped his foot. No, the whole property of Prickly Pines was reforming into it's normal self. The buildings, trees, grass, signs, roads, and even Leaky Lake were slowly transforming back to normal. Within about 5 minutes, everything was back to normal. See? No construction workers or anything, it was simply just magic. Clam: Well, that was something I didn't expect... In less than a second, everyone, including Lazlo, Raj, Edward, Samson, and Harold (who must've found their ways back by the time this was happening), circled around him and started cheering. Harold: Clam! You are the best hero ever! Like, literally the best hero! Raj: We are so glad we found you, Clam. *gives him a pat on the back* Lazlo: Yeah, we were looking everywhere for you! Edward: We spent 3 days looking for you. Now, you are right here, standing naked with your kittens. Dave: Thanks, Captain Obvious. Ping-Pong: Sooooooo.... Are you going to say something, Clam? The bean scout continued to stand there, puzzled. Then he cleared his throat and started to say something that changed of the lives of everyone forever. Clam: I am very sorry that I ran away from Camp Kidney. I just didn't want anyone to touch my kittens, because of the incident with the eagles. I was just being protective, not selfish. And because too many people were doing my kittens any harm, I ran away. While on my runaway, I befriended a colony of abandoned kittens Reggie found. Unfortunately, they all died and got eaten by wolves. But thanks to a magical fairy girl I befriended, and for fighting a gaggle of evil geese with confidence and courage, I actually have a little surprise.... What's the surprise? Chapter 12....


	12. Everyone Is Treated Fairly And Kindly

And so the surprise Clam has been promising is.....

200 young kittens.... Yes, the daughter of S.M.I.T.S had given Clam 200 kittens for having courage and confidence while on the run. The bean scouts were smiling and cooing as they saw the huge pile of kittens run around, mewing.

 

Milt: Ar-Are they our kittens?! 

 

Clam: Yep, everyone can each have their own kitten, including you, Raj. 

 

This sentence literally made Raj lighten up like day, making him smile and immediately ran towards a Siamese kitten, who was licking herself. A group of tuxedo kittens were  
crowded around Lazlo, trying to crawl up him. Edward lied on the ground as a white blue-eyed kitten was crawling on him. Samson, even though he was continuously sneezing, was cuddling a purple kitten. Chip and Skip were rolling on the ground, purring like cats. One of the Lemming brothers, Larry was being chased by kittens. Dave and Ping-Pong had kittens climbing up their necks. Harold, Larrison, and Gordon were playing with their kittens. Milt was being licked by kittens, while laughing uncontrollably, and then Clam himself, had 60% of the female kittens crowding around him, mewing at him, begging for him to pick them up. Sigh.... now everyone has their own kitten, with Clam still attracting most of them. Oh, and when he smiled, every kitten looked up at him and ran after him. Annoyed, he walked back to his cabin, with 10-15 kittens chasing after him. The other scouts look at him confused.

 

Lazlo: Wow, Clam has 10 kittens following him.

 

Harold: Awwwwwww.... They think he's their mom!

 

Raj: No, it's his smile that attracts them, and my trunk when it comes to my kitten. *pets his kitten as she plays with his trunk*

 

Beavie: One of my kittens is already going after him.. 

 

Meanwhile in Jelly cabin, Clam is getting dressed in his purple sweater with a pink heart in the center, and his usual black pants and shoes. He grabs a pet carrier that he got 6 days prior, places his kittens inside, and goes off. He was whistling the song "Cats In The Cradle" as he carried the carrier back to his friends, much to their dismay.

 

Raj: Why does Clam have his kittens in a pet carrier?

 

Chip: And why is he wearing a purple sweater with a heart in the middle?

 

Lazlo: Hold on a sec, Clam!

 

This made him stop as his friend told him to stop, he lectured him that the kittens didn't like being in a crowded pet carrier, and that they want some space outside. Disgruntled, the rhino opened the carrier and freed the kittens. Then Lazlo said something very devastating.

 

Lazlo: You need to give up half these kittens up for adoption. No, you can keep Sophie, Reggie, Tristina, Sage, and Aurora. But you must give up half these kittens up for adoption, OK?

 

This made Clam very heartbroken and sad. He face-planted himself on the ground and started sobbing his eyes out. 

 

Lazlo: I should've not said that to him...

 

Raj had to step in to comfort Clam.

 

Raj: Listen, Clam. I know it's hard to give up your babies, but sometimes, we need to give up our loved ones. Heck, what if all the kittens got a better home when they get put up for adoption? Think of all the food, playtime, naps, and the comfy beds they'll have. So, if you put them up for adoption, they'll have a loving owner, and a great home for the rest of their lives.

Clam finally agreed. 

 

Clam: Yes, Raj. Now I do feel happy to send these kittens to great homes!

 

Dave: But what about our kittens?!

 

Clam: Everyone can have one. So that it's fair and equal.

 

Samson: But you have 7 kittens!

 

Clam: Yeah, those are my foster kittens. But Dusk and Eclipse are going to a rescue center because they're too young to go to homes yet. 

 

Adoption? Go to Chapter 13!


	13. Farewell Kitties!

Clam got Slinkman to call animal control, which will collect all the kittens and send them to new homes. The slug grabbed his cellphone, dialed 101-300-RESCUE, and started talking to the rescuers.

 

Slinkman: Hello, Animal Control? We have a camper who found all these kittens and took the time and patience to take care of them. He wants the kittens to go to new homes, so can you pick up these kittens? *inaudible chatter on phone* Oh, the location is Camp Kidney in Prickly Pines. *more chatter* Yes, I'll be there right away. *even more chatter* You'll come and get the kittens? *chatter...* Great, bye. *hangs up* 

 

Clam: They're gonna have great homes! And I bet they're going to be purring alot when they are with their new owners! 

He embraces Slinkman excitedly and smiles.

 

Slinkman: I know... You took great care of these kittens...

 

30 minutes later...

 

The animal control truck has arrived at camp, the truck was white with cages inside and a sign that read "Prickly Pines Animal Control". There were 3 rescuers caging the kittens away into the truck. All the kittens (the ones that are not being kept pets by the bean scouts) were excited to go to their new homes, except for Dusk and Eclipse, who were crying up the storm as the rescuers placed them in the truck. Duck bit a rescuer in the hand as he tried to take her away in order to put them in separate cages. Annoyed and frustrated, he unlocked the cage and the kittens come running to Clam. 

 

Clam: Dusk, Eclipse! You guys were supposed to go to the rescue center!

 

Rescuer #1: Unfortunately, these kittens want to be with you, but until then, you can keep them until they're old enough to go to new homes. 

 

Clam: OK.... *scoops them up* Clam's gonna be your mommy for another 3 weeks.... 

 

Rescuer #1: Enjoy your 7 kittens, rhino boy. 

The man was about to go into the truck until Lazlo stopped him.

 

Lazlo: Did you take away Jakey? 

 

Rescuer #1: No... Everyone gets 1 kitten... 

 

Lazlo: Thank you!

 

The monkey hugs him as he giggles blissfully. Jakey just rubbed against his legs.   
Finally, the rescuers hit the road. Everyone was waving at the truck as it drove away. 

 

Clam: *sighs* Now I can take care of my kittens without hesitation or burden! 

 

Lazlo: And we got all the kitten care supplies in our cabin!

 

Harold: Thank god, because my kitten is already hungry... *points at kitten suckling on his leg* 

 

Raj: Soo... What are we waiting for, bean scouts? Let's go to Jelly Cabin! Also known as, The Jelly Cat Center!

 

Everyone started laughing as they walked to the jellies' cabin.


	14. Epilogue

All the bean scouts were at Jelly Cabin, with Clam explaining his adventure and the scouts taking care of their kittens. Edward playing with his kitten, Edward Jr., Harold feeding his kitten, Serena, bottlefeeding her, Milt's kitten playing with Clam's tail with Ping-Pong's kitten, and Sophie swiping at Clam's ears. The Jelly trio were having a conversation about their friend's runaway and how he got back to camp. 

Lazlo: How did you survive that whole journey?

 

Raj: Did you eat any food? 

 

Lazlo: Where did you find Dusk and Eclipse? 

 

Clam: Well, I found the twins in a bush while cuddling my other kitten, Sage. *Sage meows*   
I also fed them and myself cat milk and chocolate chip cookies. Heh, It was a looonnng journey, Lazlo and Raj, It was.

 

Lazlo: I bet so.... 

He pats his friend's back happily.

 

Raj: So, I wonder where Scoutmaster Lumpus is...

 

*cut to Nurse Lesile's office*

 

Scoutmaster: Uggghhh... That dumb old cat boy! He made me have a freaking cat allergy! *sneezes* Nursey, is my leg healed yet? Nursey?! NURRSSSSEEEYY!!!!!

 

THE END


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